#I gotta be real if this happened to me with any of the stuff I'd like I'd be on the news

[some-pers0n]

"Fuck you" isn't rude or intimidating enough. "I hope your favourite piece of fiction gets a live-action adaptation with all of the life and charm sucked out of it" is far more terrifying and impactful

[medicinemane]

Honestly a lot of the time, it's not even about people having to agree with me, it's about needing to know that they actually heard and listened to what I had to say even if it didn't persuade them

Just... some basic indication that there's enough respect to give a shit about what I said, and also to make sure that they disagree because they actually disagree and not cause they just didn't bother listening

It's all I really ask

[transmechanicus]

It is sunday night. I remain exhausted.

[tidetfs]

"Ugh, bro, pleeeeease?"

Max looked at me with those dopey blue eyes of his, staring dully through me and appearing to lack any kind of intelligence or perception.

"I told you, I have a very important club interview," I replied. "This could determine if I can network into a good job after college!" stressing the importance of a job, something my stoner roommate never seemed to understand.

"Just one hit, man, come on! You gotta stop worrying about that stuff and just chill out!" he replied, stretching his muscular arms over his head of greasy (probably unwashed) brown hair and closing his eyes, as if musing about something important. "You gotta try this weed bro, I just, I-" he stuttered as he took another hit. "I don't fuckin' know man, I think you just need this."

Exasperated, I dropped my heavy bag on the floor and strode over to his side of the room, switching to mouth breathing to avoid inhaling too much foot funk from his "clean pile" of clothes, as Max called it. Even three air fresheners weren't enough to keep the pungent smells of weed and sweat at bay.

"What the hell, dude, when's the last time you even washed those?!"

"Oh, I dunno, a couple weeks ago, maybe?" Max replied, shrugging.

I could see some of the dried crust still clinging to the fabric. I couldn't help but be amazed at the sheer size of his stash. The pile was easily four feet across, and it was clear Max was still working to roll his way through the rest. I couldn't even imagine where he got it all.

"Look, just let me finish my meeting, then I'll smoke with you, okay?"

Max's eyes lit up.

"Yeah, for real?" he replied, excited. "You promise? Pinky swear?"

Max stuck his hand out, his pinky raised and his arm shaking slightly. He looked like an overgrown child. I was so tired, I didn't even hesitate. I wrapped my pinky around his, then turned to walk out of the room. As soon as I let go, I felt a sudden, powerful wave of euphoria wash over me. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I couldn't even think straight, the sensation was so intense.

I collapsed against the doorway, unable to move. I could barely even think. The only thought that went through my mind was that I'd never felt this good in my life. Every inch of my skin tingled and buzzed, like a pleasant static that sent ripples of bliss through my muscles. I couldn't even control the way my body twitched and shivered.

"Duuuude," I heard Max say. "You feel that, man? I told you it's the good stuff."

I didn't know what was happening to me. My heart was racing and I couldn't breathe, and the feeling was getting more and more intense. "What..." I struggled to even sound out words. "I didn't even...take a hit..."

"Well, no, not technically," Max said, laughing. "But, uh, that's not what it was, actually. See, I sorta dosed your pinky."

I looked up at him, confused. My vision was blurry and I could barely see him, but he was grinning widely, and I could see the outline of his meaty, calloused hands rubbing the front of his jeans.

"See, it's like this, man. That wasn't weed. That was just, you know, a little something to get you to loosen up a bit. And, uh, well, there's this other thing, too. That shit I sprayed on your hand. It's not, uh, not exactly what you think."

The euphoria was fading, but it was still intense, and it was making my brain spin. "You sprayed my...hand?" I mumbled, barely able to understand what he was saying.

"Yeah, bro, I sorta had to, man. You kept getting me down with all your stress." He flexed his big biceps and gave one a kiss. "Now you're gonna be just like me!" He grinned wide, his perfect teeth glinting in the low light.

I couldn't respond. The sensations were still washing over me, but the euphoria was fading. As my brain began to work again, I suddenly realized that there was something wrong with me. There was a new, alien weight between my legs.

"Wha-what did you do?" I stammered, still dazed and confused. "What...what did you..."

I looked down, and froze. There was a huge, heavy bulge straining against the crotch of my jeans, stretching the thick material taut. It was huge. Like, absolutely massive. It was easily the size of my fist, maybe even bigger. It was so big and round, I could even see the outline of the individual balls.

"Duuuuude, bro, look at that fucking thing!" Max exclaimed, pointing and laughing. "It's totally fucking huge! Holy shit, man, it's the biggest cock I've ever seen in my life!"

I tried to speak, but I was still so confused, I couldn't get my mouth to form words.

"I didn't know they could get that big, man! Wow, bro, you're really packing a fucking cannon, you know that? Holy shit, it's so fucking hot." Max was practically drooling as he ogled the enormous bulge in my pants.

I could feel the heat radiating off of it, and I could tell it was pulsing and throbbing with each beat of my heart. The sensation was incredibly intense.

"It's...it's not possible..." I stammered, my voice cracking. "What...what did you spray?"

"Bro, I'm telling you, it's totally normal!" Max said, trying his best to sound reassuring. "My friend from home, he said, well, it's just that..." Max stammered again, his usually peaceful face betraying some shyness. "I've always thought you were cute, even without that package. You just needed to loosen up a little. And, I mean, I just wanted you to be, like, comfortable with me. It was just a little bit, man, and it was totally safe. Like, I swear, it's totally normal, dude." He grinned and shot me a wink. "Soon you're going to be just like me."

Max was still staring at the massive bulge, and I could see the outline of his huge dick stretching the crotch of his jeans.

"Dude, bro, I-" my hand shot to my mouth. I had never used those words in the same sentence before! "I...I didn't mean that!"

"Oh, yeah, dude," Max replied, not even noticing. "It's totally normal, bro. You're just a little high is all."

"High?!" I shouted, exasperated. "This isn't...I'm not...this isn't how people talk!"

Max just shrugged. "Bro, you've always been a nerd, and it's cool, man, I totally get it. But this is a big step forward. You're gonna love this. I swear."

I couldn't believe this was happening. I was still trying to process everything that was happening to me, when I heard Max's voice.

"Duuuuuude, check it out, bro," he said, gesturing to the bulge in his jeans. "We're, like, totally packing!"

"I can't..."

"Oh, shit, right. Dude, you gotta feel this."

Max quickly reached down and grabbed the bulge in my pants. As soon as he made contact, I felt a powerful surge of pleasure ripple through me. My body immediately responded to his touch, and I could feel my new cock throb and twitch. I groaned, unable to hold back the sounds.

"Dude, holy shit, bro, it's like, really sensitive or something," Max said, his eyes wide. "Like, really, really fucking sensitive, bro."

"No, it's...not..." I moaned, but I could tell it was a lie. It felt like Max's hand was squeezing my balls, and the pleasure was incredible.

"Fuck, bro, it's, like, really fucking sensitive, dude. Like, fucking, crazy fucking sensitive." Max was practically drooling, and his eyes were glazed over. He was clearly enjoying this a lot.

"Please, stop..."

"Fuck, bro, you're so fucking hard," Max groaned. He started to rub my bulge, and his other hand went to the front of his own jeans. "...and, you're so pretty too. I just don't want to lose you to all those meetings, bro. I want you to be with me."

"Wait, no, what are you doing?"

"I can't hold back anymore, dude, I gotta see your big dick," Max replied, unzipping my jeans and reaching in. He slowly pulled down, and my eyes widened as he revealed the huge, throbbing bulge in my underwear. It was so big, the fabric was stretched tight, and it was already soaked in pre-cum.

"Holy shit, dude, that thing is huge!" Max exclaimed, his voice cracking. He was staring at my huge bulge with a lustful expression, and his long tongue darted out to lick his lips. "It's, like, fucking, massive."

I looked down and was shocked by what I saw. It was easily twice as big as it had been just a few minutes ago. It was still growing, and it was stretching the fabric of my boxer-briefs to the limit. Max began to move closer, scrambling to take off his busted old t-shirt, meaty pecs and perfect washboard abs busting out as he did. He leaned forward, and his massive bicep brushed against my new rock-hard dick.

"Oh, shit, bro, fuck," Max moaned as he leaned in closer. At this point I could almost feel the waves of sweat and weed rolling off his huge body, and my cock was throbbing and leaking, straining against the tight fabric of my underwear.

"You're so hot, dude," Max said, reaching out to grab my huge bulge, wrapping his meaty hand around it. His hand was warm and rough, and his grip was strong, squeezing my bulge and causing a fresh burst of pleasure. "You're, like, fucking sexy as hell, man."

"What the hell, bro, no, that's not...that's not right!" I stammered, but Max's words sent a thrill through me. I could feel my cheeks burning, and I could feel the heat radiating from my skin. "That's not, I'm not a fag!"

"You sure about that, bro?" he asked, giving it a tug and sending a bolt of pleasure through my body. I felt the euphoria return. This time, it was a hundred times more intense.

"Fuuuuck," I groaned, leaning my head back. "Bro, it feels so fucking good."

"I know, right? And it's going to feel even better when you're a stoner like me, dude." Max replied, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Fuck, bro, I can't take it, I gotta get naked," Max moaned, frantically undoing his belt and shucking his pants. "I'm so fucking hard, bro, I can't wait to fuck you."

I looked down, and for the first time, got a good look at my new equipment. It was absolutely massive. It was huge and thick, easily the biggest cock I'd ever seen, and it was still growing. It was 10 inches long, and thicker than a beer can. My balls were huge, too, hanging heavy and swollen between my legs. I'd never felt anything like it.

The sensation continued to wash over me, slowly becoming heat as I began to sweat. It felt amazing. I couldn't control myself, I was already starting to moan and groan, and the euphoria was starting to mix with my arousal. My new cock was so sensitive, and the slightest touch made it throb and pulse.

"It's starting!" Max shouted, looking at my side of the room as my clean and organized things started to transform. My desk became cluttered with bongs and pipes, and posters of the periodic table were suddenly replaced by scantily clad men. My clothes started to change, too. My formerly neat shirts were suddenly full of holes and stained with various substances. My shoes were replaced with flip flops and Crocs.

"I can't take it, man, I'm too horny, I need to kiss you, right now," Max moaned, his voice shaking with desperation. "I've been waiting for this day, dude, and I can't hold back any longer."

Before I could protest, Max leaned in and kissed me, his big, thick tongue probing my mouth. The heat was overwhelming, and his kisses were passionate and hungry. His big, rough hands began to explore my body, rubbing and stroking and caressing every inch of me. He broke away from the kiss and buried his face in my neck, licking and nibbling and kissing. He was so close, I could feel the heat from his body, and I could smell the overpowering funk of stale sweat and reeking weed. It was so powerful I almost didn't notice my feet begin to ache and the pain in my lower back.

"What's...what's happening to me, bro?" I asked, my voice breaking. "I feel...I feel like...fuck, bro, it hurts!"

"You're changing, dude," Max replied, grinning. "It's the weed. You're finally becoming one with the bud."

"Fuck, bro, I can't hold back anymore," Max moaned. He reached down and began to stroke his giant cock, pre-cum pouring from the tip. It was easily 9 inches, and his massive balls were swollen and heavy with greasy, unwashed hair.

My feet continued to ache and burn as they stretched out, becoming bigger and broader. I could feel my bones shifting and rearranging, long tufts of sweaty hair sprouting out of my feet as they morphed into giant, hairy stumps. I couldn't believe it. The changes were getting more and more intense, and it was driving me wild. I felt like I was going to explode.

"I can't take it anymore," Max groaned, his voice a husky growl. " I have to make you mine."

Without hesitation, Max grabbed my shoulders and spun me around, pushing me face-first into my mattress. His hands were rough and strong, and he easily manhandled me.

"Holy fuck, dude, your ass, it's..." Max moaned, his voice filled with lust. "It's so fucking huge."

My ass was getting bigger and rounder, and it was stretching the seat of my boxer-briefs to the limits, and I felt a sharp, sudden pain as the fabric gave way and tore, leaving my huge, jiggly, fat, bubble butt exposed.

"I'm so horny, bro" Max moaned, his voice shaky and breathy, as my ass filled with greasy, oily stink, the air thick with the musk of unwashed flesh and reeking, unwashed funk.

"You're so hot, dude. It's so hot that you're getting stoned."

"What? Bro, that's not...wait!"

"Don't worry, dude, you'll get used to it. It's just the weed talking."

"No, wait, bro, you can't..." I moaned again as my legs began to push me taller, my thighs and calves widening and thickening. My feet swelled even more, filling to a size 13, and a sudden rush of heat swept over my body.

"Fuck, dude, you're so fucking hot, man," Max groaned, his voice thick with lust, rubbing my new, tick legs as dark, swirly hair began to sprout, quickly becoming matted with the sweat of hours upon hours of mindless smoking.

"Please, bro, stop," I moaned, as my body began to shake. "I can't take it, I'm gonna...I'm gonna cum."

"Dude, that's the whole point, bro," Max replied, his voice trembling. "Just relax, and let it happen. It's gonna feel so fucking good."

"It's too much," I moaned, my cock throbbing and pulsing. "It's too intense."

"I know, dude, it's just the weed, bro. It'll feel better after you get used to it. Trust me."

I could feel the hair begin to creep onto my stomach and chest, quickly spreading and covering me in a layer of greasy, foul-smelling, sweaty body hair.

"Dude, are you seriously not feeling this, too?" I asked, my voice cracking. "Bro, I can't take it, please, just stop, it's too much."

"Dude, chill, you're fine," Max replied, flipping me back over and rubbing his hand over my new abs and thickening pecs. "Just enjoy the ride."

"Wait, no, I'm not...fuuuuck!"

The sensation was so intense, it was driving me wild. I could barely even think. My pecs were growing larger and heavier, and my nipples were swelling and darkening, the areolae growing thicker and hairier.

"Fuuuuuck, dude, you're so fucking sexy," Max groaned, grabbing a fistful of hair and giving it a sharp tug, making me moan with pleasure.

My cock was throbbing and leaking pre-cum, and I could feel the heat coming from it. My balls were swollen and heavy, and they were aching for release.

"Fuck, dude, I can't take it," Max moaned, his voice filled with desperation, shoving his face into my pit as they began to grow and deepen, quickly filling with rank, musky body odor. As he licked, my arms grew longer and wider, my biceps and triceps growing thicker and bulkier. My forearms became thicker and more defined, and my hands and fingers were getting bigger and beefier.

"Bro, it's so fucking good." Max's voice was muffled by my armpit, and I could feel his tongue lapping up the stale sweat and musk.

My arms were now completely covered in thick, greasy, matted hair, and the same was happening to my back, the swirly pattern spreading like a wildfire. My shoulders were growing larger and rounder, and I could feel the muscles shifting and rearranging.

"Please, dude, don't...I can't..."

"I can't stop, bro, you're so hot," Max moaned, his face buried in my pit. I could smell our odors mixing together as our muscular bodies writhed against each other, slick with sweat and the stinking smell of weed.

I was so turned on.

"You're so hot, bro," Max moaned, his pre-cum leaking all over the place.

"No, bro, what?" I moaned, my voice trembling. "I'm not a faggot."

"That's just the weed, dude," Max replied, his voice low and husky. "You're gonna love it."

"Please, no," I moaned, but I knew he was right. I was so turned on, and the weed was driving me wild as my neck and jaw began to fill out and widen, my Adam's apple growing into a large, meaty knob.

I moaned as my voice deepened, the vibrations reverberating through me, causing me to shiver, my speech becoming permanently relaxed, just like my roommate's.

"Fuck," Max groaned, going in for a slobbery, wet kiss, our body heat generating enough stink to make me gag.

My body was now covered in matted, swirly body hair, and it was growing thicker and greasier, the same thing happening to my chest. I could feel my pecs bulging even more as my face was being smothered in kisses and licks, my nose cracking into a previously-broken shape and the skin becoming rough and scarred.

"Oh, fuck, dude, you're so fucking hot," Max moaned, burying his face in my thick neck, his voice muffled by the hair.

"No, please, bro," I moaned, my voice cracking. "I can't take it, it's too much."

"You can do it, bro, just hold on a little longer," Max replied, his voice shaky.

My tongue grew thicker and longer, and it started to loll out of my mouth, my face cracking into model-level handsomeness. I was so turned on, and I couldn't take it anymore. My balls were throbbing and pulsing, and my cock was throbbing and pulsing.

"I'm gonna cum," I moaned, my voice deep and slow.

"Do it, bro," Max moaned, his voice trembling. "Do it, cum all over me, bro."

I felt his fingers run across my short hair, sending a shiver down my spine. My body was wracked with pleasure as I felt ropes of rancid, stinking cum shoot from my cock, splattering his chest and stomach. I couldn't control myself, I was moaning and groaning, the intense orgasm rocking my body, my new, masculine frame shaking and quivering.

With each rope, my bright green eyes became dimmer and dimmer, coloring grayer and grayer as all of my worries and stress flowed out of me, and I fell into a state of bliss, my cock still twitching and throbbing as the last change began. My hair grew longer and thicker, until it was a long, shaggy, dirty mess, and a fresh wave of fresh musk rose off me.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck," I moaned, my voice deep and slow, my tongue lolling out of my mouth.

"Fuck, dude, you're so fucking sexy," Max moaned, his voice cracking. "I can't believe it, dude. You're, like, totally a stoner now, bro."

"Haha, yeah man...wait bro, haven't I always been?" I looked at myself in the dingy dorm mirror, and realized I looked like a dumb, stoned idiot. My voice was deeper, and my accent was different. My hair was messy and unwashed, and my skin was tanned. My pecs were massive and my abs were rock hard. My cock was huge and throbbing. My feet were hairy and stinky. I had a huge, round, bubble butt.

I laughed a deep, airy chuckle.

"That's right" Max said, staring into my dull eyes. He seemed like the hottest man I had ever laid eyes on until I realized.

"I love you, dude." Max giggled.

"Yeah man, I love you, too" I slurred, leaning in for a sloppy kiss, my tongue probing his mouth, the taste of weed and sweat overwhelming. He returned the favor, and soon, we were a mess of sloppy, stoner kisses, our thick, stubbly chins rubbing together, the sound of slurping and licking filling the room.

"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck," I groaned, the kiss ending, both of us breathing heavy and panting, a mixture of spit dripping from our chins. "That was, like, totally amazing, dude."

"Fuck, yeah, bro, it was fucking awesome," Max groaned, his voice trembling. "I've been waiting for this for, like, ever, bro. It's fucking crazy."

"Yeah, dude, totally," I replied, staring at his gorgeous, masculine features. His big, thick arms, his perfect washboard abs, his massive pecs, and his perfect, handsome face. He was fucking hot, and he was all mine.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Ace Trappola - Suitor Suit Vignette

"I love..."

[Cafeteria – Wedding Ceremony]

Crowley: Dearie me… Today was indeed an ordeal.

Crowley: It seems the ghosts have all disappeared, leaving our cafeteria still decorated for a wedding ceremony.

Crowley: How dare they take no responsibility for what happened.

Crowley: We won't be able to open for meals tomorrow if it stays like this.

Crowley: So, young freshmen. I'll leave it to you to clear up this "wedding venue" before heading back to your dormitories, then.

Jack/Deuce/Sebek: Ehhhh～～～!?

Ace: When you say freshmen… That doesn't include me 'n Epel in all our tuxedo glory, right?

Crowley: No, I mean all freshmen. I pride myself as an educator who treats all my students the same!

Epel: Oh, come on…

Ace: Give us a break, already. I did so much today, I'm wiped out.

Crowley: I will admit that you played an integral part in today's procession… But that is that, and this is this.

Crowley: I do hope you lively youngsters will be quick about it!

Grim: Hey, Yuu. Stop spacing out! We're makin' a run for it before the Headmage notices us.

Crowley: Ah, of course, that includes [Yuu]-kun and Grim-kun, too.

Grim: Myaaaah!!

Epel: Urgh. I've thrown away so many of these ribbon off the walls, and there's still more to go.

Grim: Whenever I try pullin' the lace off, it keeps getting' caught on my claws!

Ace: This chair's real sturdy. Where'd they even find… Wait, it's a tombstone! [shudders]

1. We're not anywhere close to getting finished. 2. I wanna go home already.

Ortho: Hey everyone, I'm here to help too, so let's put our all into it!

Ace: …Arrrgh, come on! I did so much to help out, too!

Ace: How much trouble do ghosts gotta put us through before they're satisfied, anyway?

Ace: 500 years? Crazy they've been obsessing over something like "love" for that long.

Ace: I'm pretty pissed at those ghost soldiers, sure… But I don't understand what that princess was thinking at all.

Ace: I'd've had a lot less trouble if she'd just given up on the whole marriage thing and lived a happy afterlife instead…

Epel: …

Epel: Ace-kun… Has there ever been someone you liked?

Ace: Huh!? Why're you asking me that all of a sudden?

Epel: Just thought it was strange… You saying she was "obsessive" or that you "don't understand" her.

Epel: 'Cause you kinda give off this vibe that you'd know a bit more about relationships.

Ace: What, you saying I'm a playboy or something?

Epel: N-No, I'm not saying that.

Grim: You shouldn't tease Ace like that, askin' about his love life. No way he'd have any idea about that sorta stuff.

Grim: There's no way a jerk like him would ever have any luck.

Ace: Hey, can you try not being jealous of me for one sec?

Ace: Back in middle school, even I had a girlfriend I'd take to amusement parks or movie theaters or whatever.

Grim: Wh-What!? You're soundin' pretty cocky for someone like you, Ace!

Ortho: Amusement parks and movies, hm. My manual says that regardless of the generation, those are pretty popular date spots!

Epel: Nice… all this talkin' about datin' and such's makin' me feel like we're really at our peak high school guy talk stage!

Epel: So? What happened?

Ace: Well…

Ace: You know girls, they're so scared of roller coasters, so all we'd ride was the merry-go-round or the ferris wheel.

Ace: She'd say everything was "Cute!" and take a ton of Magicam pictures, but I didn't really see what was so exciting about those rides.

Ace: Plus, whenever we went to see a movie, she never wanted to watch action or horror movies, just romance and cute animal movies…

Ace: It was just borin' with her, so we just slowly stopped messaging each other.

Epel: Oh, I see. Doesn't that seem a little…disappointing?

Ace: Yeah, but the worst was still to come. After I started slowly distancing myself, whaddya think happened next?

Ace: …One day, this group of girls I'd never met in my life started shouting at me…

Ace: "Why didn't you ever call her?" "How could you!" "She's been crying non-stop!" "You brute!"

Ace: …And they went on and on scolding me! What's with that, some kind of solidarity between girls or whatever?

Ace: That's when I realized. Love is just a pain to deal with!

Ace: I have way more fun just hangin' with the guys.

Grim: Man, you're just a kid, after all.

Ace: Don't wanna hear that from you, of all people.

Ace: …But, anyway!

Ace: I think it's not me we gotta worry about, but those guys over there.

Jack/Deuce/Sebek: Hm?

[Cafeteria – Wedding Ceremony]

Ace: I think it's not me we gotta worry about, but those guys over there.

Jack/Deuce/Sebek: Hm?

Deuce: Hey, Ace. What have you guys been chatting away about over there?

Jack: Urgh… It's already past midnight and I don't think I can stay awake any longer. Let's hurry and finish cleaning up already.

Ace: You guys are tryin' to act all cool, but who was it that was just rolling around on the floor all day today?

Ace: Look at 'em, Grim. You should be saying that these dunderheads who couldn't even succeed in their mission are more like kids.

Grim: Hm, I guess…?

Grim: Deuce did look pretty lame when he froze up tryin' to talk to that bride.

Ace: Riiiight～?! I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe at all.

Deuce: Wha… I couldn't help it! I'm not used to talking to girls.

Deuce: I clam up when I start thinking that I might say something stupid and callous…

Ace: Your middle school was co-ed, wasn't it? Weren't you popular enough?

Ace: I always thought that guys with that "tough guy" image always had girls falling at their feet.

Deuce: Falling at my feet?

Deuce: …Nah, no one ever talked to me.

Deuce: Every girl other than my mom ―or rather, every guy, too― would run away the moment we made eye contact.

Ace: Ah, I see… So you were just so scary no one wanted to come close…

Ace: Jack got rejected pretty quick too, so I guess guys who just look scary from the get-go just can't get girls, huh.

Jack: That's all useless talk. I don't really care if people like me.

Ace: Oho? What, you a sore loser or something?

Jack: No. Wolf beastmen like myself are destined to find the one person to care about forever.

Jack: Both my parents and my grandparents are the same… From the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep, they're always together. Even when taking a walk or having meals.

Jack: When the time comes that I fall in love, I plan on being with them for the rest of my life.

Jack: That's why I don't care if a bunch of folks like me.

Ace: Th... That's waaaaay too deep!

Ace: Dude, you're still a student, and you're talking about "the rest of my life"… You're taking this "love" stuff way too seriously!

Deuce: Also, can you really think about marriage before you've even got a career plan set up?

Grim: What a pain! I definitely don't wanna ever date Jack.

Jack: Well, I'm not asking you to!

Ace: Then, I guess it's more guys like Epel that'd get the most attention.

Ace: Instead of being scary looking, he's a pretty boy with potential!

Epel: Eh, m-me!?

Ace: Well, you were askin' about others, so you should cough up a story too. Was there anyone back home you had a crush on?

Epel: Uh…

Ace: Come on～ Don't keep it a secret～ We're tux buddies, ain't we?

Deuce: That's a rude way to drag him in. Why're you so hung up on hearing about other people's love lives?

Jack: I bet he's hoping that other people'll do his share of the clean up while he keeps the conversation going.

Deuce: Makes sense. That's a pretty Ace-like move.

Ace: You guys are totally interested in hearing too!

Jack/Deuce: Well…

Ace: You ever get confessed to? Was there someone you liked? Or even dated someone!?

Epel: …

Jack/Deuce/Ace: …!

Epel: …Hate to break it to you guys when you're all looking at me so intently…

Epel: But there's not many people in my hometown. And even then, most of the people there either way older or way younger than me.

Epel: I never really got to spend time with people my age once I came here to Night Raven College…

Epel: All I did was help out on my family's farm… So I don't really have any exciting story…

Ace: Dang, so you don't have any fun stories too, huh.

Epel: Sorry I couldn't live up to your expectations.

Ortho: If I were to compare against prior data gathered of boys of similar age, it seems like everyone here is drastically lacking when it comes to living your youthful years.

Ace: Shut it!

Sebek: Hey! Humans! You've all stalled in your work.

Sebek: IF YOU'VE GOT TIME TO CHIT-CHAT, STACK THE CHAIRS!

Ace: Here he comes, the guy who's got the worst chance among us.

Jack: Yeah, I was pretty disappointed too.

Sebek: Hmph. All of you are just going back and forth about falling in love and whatnot.

Sebek: We are students. If you have time for that sort of ridiculous leisure, you should focus on your studies instead!

Grim: Don't be talkin' down to us! You were one of the first to get rejected!

Sebek: I was not rejected! I rejected her!

Sebek: I am busy training every single day to be a capable guard for Malleus-sama. I have no time for frivolities like "love."

Ace: You say that, but what if someone that was really your type shows up one day?

Ace: You plannin' on droning on and on about Malleus-senpai to that person, too?

Sebek: I fully know what to do. Lilia-sama has explained to me what I should do if I were to meet my soulmate.

Sebek: …FIRST I WOULD CRAFT FOR THEM A WELL-THOUGHT OUT CORRESPONDENCE!

Ace: Correspondence!!?? You mean, write a letter!?

Ace: That's like something our grandparents would do!

Deuce: It'd be better if you sent a message on Magicam or email instead.

Sebek: Why is that? Lilia-sama would say that "Fountain pens and stationary are a lover's weapon."

Sebek: One should lay out their thoughts in the missive, and every third letter, also include a picture with a smile. This should continue until the 25th full moon of the courtship.

Sebek: Once enough correspondence has been exchanged…

Sebek: We are to sit on a bench together in Briar Valley Central Park, leaving enough space for one between us!

Epel: Yeah, you're definitely being led on…

Sebek: WHAT!!?? HOW DARE A LOWLY HUMAN DOUBT LILIA-SAMA LIKE SO!!??

Ace: Yeah, yeah. Pipe down already. It'll go on and on if we don't nip it in the bud here, so let's call it quits here!

Ace: [sigh]… But maybe Sebek has a bit of a point.

Jack: What, you gonna write some letters too?

Ace: Oh yeah, yeah, I'd totally whip out the white stationary and write in cursive "I love"… Not!!

Ace: Even for this, me and Epel needed Riddle-ryōchō and Rook-senpai's help, right?

Epel: …Yeah. If we didn't have those two, I don't think we would've been able to get as far as we did.

Ace: You know, it came to me when I saw my Housewarden taking on all those ghosts.

Ace: "My Housewarden's pretty cool."

Ace: I wanna get better at using magic, man.

Ace: I can't even compare against my Housewarden or other upperclassmen right now, but...

Ace: But someday, I'll totally show off what all I can do, and be all, "Check me out now!"

Ace: I totally get a jolt through my body imagining the shock on their faces when I finally show my awesome skills, see?

Ace: And in order to get to that point… I guess I need to focus up a bit more in my studies before thinking anything about love.

Epel: …Yeah. You're right. I think so too!

Sebek: Hmph. See, you do get it.

Deuce: Yeah, we need to hunker down with our studies.

Jack: When Deuce with all his failing marks says that, it just feels even more important to think about.

Sebek/Epel/Ace: Yeah.

Deuce: Why are you all in step when it comes to things like this!?

Ace: …Putting that all aside, we just really got carried away in conversation, huh. We ain't nowhere near done putting the cafeteria back in order!

Ace: Not only did we have to deal with all those ghosts, but now we gotta be held after to do more work…

Ace: We're so lame. Nothing good came out of today at all.

Ortho: That's not true!

Ace: Eh?

[Cafeteria – Wedding Ceremony]

Ortho: I was watching the video with the Headmage when you barged into the wedding ceremony, and…

Ortho: It felt like I was watching a movie, seeing you burst in with your flower bouquet, shouting out "Wait a sec!"

Ortho: You were so passionately coming to my brother's rescue…

Ortho: It was suuuuuuuuuuuper cool!

Ace: Huh? I wasn't passionate anything.

Ace: That was because I had just finished running away from the ghosts… or more like I got caught up in the flow.

Ortho: Nah. I saw just how serious you looked when you rushed into the room.

Ortho: You totally meant every word you said to the bride and her retainers, didn't you?

Grim: There ain't no way Ace'd say anything that genuine.

Grim: All he did was just ramble on about stuff without putting in any thought, I bet.

Ace: Y-Yeah, yeah! You got it right on the money, Grim.

Ortho: Judging from what I gleaned from my infrared sensor, with his elevated body temperature, voice pitch and pupil dilation…

Ortho: All the preceding data brings us to the conclusion that Ace was being genuine.

Ortho: ���There's no need for you to hide it. You're really shy, huh!

Deuce: Which means…

Sebek: All he said to the ghost bride about the "perfect marriage partner"…

Jack: Was Ace's actual genuine thoughts!?

Ortho: Yup. There's no doubt.

Ortho: It's wonderful that you have a real good image of your ideal partner.

Ace: Hah!? No way! Absolutely no way!

Ace: I just said whatever I thought the ghosts would swallow!

Jack/Deuce/Sebek: Ohooo～～??

Grim: Protesting too much, don'tcha think?

Ortho: Even the Headmage said, "I'm growing fonder of Trappola-kun by the second!"

Ortho: Based on prior literature, statistically speaking, if you were to confess to someone with the same passion as you did today…

Ortho: You're sure to have no trouble getting someone to fall in love with you!

Ace: There ain't no passion. That wasn't a confession!

Ace: …And all you stop your stupid grinning!

Epel: Wow, I didn't realize how much you put into it…

Epel: I wish I could've seen you looking so cool, Ace-kun.

Ortho: Leave it to me! I still have the recording. I'll send you the video later.

Ace: STOP WITH THE RECORDING!

Deuce: Oh, nice thinking. We should all watch it later once we're done clearing everything away. You guys good with doing it at Ramshackle?

Jack: Running a play-by-play could be fun. I'm feeling more awake now.

Sebek: I shall give my own evaluation of it as well!

Sebek: You said I was the guy today with the worst chance among all of us. I'll make sure to thoroughly lambast you as penance.

Ace: DON'T BE TRYING TO MAKE INTO A VIEWING PARTY!

1. No need to be shy. 2. We just want to pay tribute to your gallant speech.

Ortho: Yeah～!

Ortho: That's why you, Ace Trappola-san, who already has thought of what his ideal partner would be…

Ortho: Is the best suited suitor of all!

Ace: …Aaaaah, come on! I've already told you… I wasn't serious at all!

Grim: Woah. Ace's turned completely red even to the tips of his ears!

Deuce: Haha, you're right. This isn't something we get to ever see.

Jack: Hey, Ortho. Make sure you capture this moment too.

Grim: You too, [Yuu], snap a shot on the ghost camera!

Ace: Why's everyone gotta mess with me like this…?

Ace: Just drop it already, guys～～!

Requested by Anonymous.

[quinton-reviews]

Hi Quinton!! I have been a HUGE fan of your stuff since a friend sent me the Tobuscus Fallen Titans (I used to watch him back in high school and was like "huh, wonder what happened to him after those allegations") and I gotta say, it is REALLY FUNNY every time my fiancé and I watch the iCarly videos again, because when you cover Gibby's stunt double breaking his ribs, you cut to a clip of The Official Podcast. I used to play D&D with one of the main dudes from the podcast, so when he talks during that clip I do a goddamn double take literally every time.

Anyways, I remember an original Patreon stretch goal being a Fallen Titans on Homestuck! I was really big into Homestuck in my early 20s, and was wondering if that's still on the table at some point? If not that's fine, I understand plans change! I just love Fallen Titans lol, the Fred episode and the Neil Cicierega unFallen Titans are some of my favorite videos of yours!

That's a real funny story!

So here's the rundown on the Homestuck video. When I first started making long videos, they were actually inspired by the relationship I had with other YouTubers at the time. I used to watch, like, H3H3 and Filthy Frank, etc; and I'd always see people obsessed with the versions of creators from the past. Like, "Oh 2015 H3 was the best" and "Oh 2012 Frank was peak." So I had this idea that it would be crazy if H3 posted, like, a video he spent a decade on and you got a new video with 2015 H3 10 years on. (I don't watch H3 anymore ironically)

So the original idea for the "long video" format was that it would be cool if, throughout a long, analysis/review/recap video, you kept noticing someone get older. Maybe my months, maybe by years. That's why I always like to get a haircut when I start one of these videos. If you scrub through and you see my hair get longer and messier as it goes on I think that adds something magical you can't fake.

So... My pitch to the Homestuck video was that it would be funny to work on it just once per year. To record one segment, say "That's it for 12 months", and then come back around to it. And when I was making the iCarly and Victorious videos I actually recorded a few minutes of the video! I think it was two segments in total. But then I had a bunch of personal stuff happen and my work drive has been much lower, so any "back burner" video hasn't gotten much attention since then.

Now that the iCarly mini-series is done with, I want to focus on some short one-off videos I can make before April. But once that's done with, I would REALLY love to start work on a few more long-term projects which will take months or years to finish. I think returning to work on the Homestuck video, to at least get the first 20-30 minutes done, would be a great idea this summer.

Now, if you want to know my pitch for that video, here it is. The video is not a recap of the creative history of the franchise. I do not get into drama, community hell, lawsuits, or other YouTubers. My idea is this: you always hear about Homestuck as an outsider but you never hear about the actual content. Most franchises on Earth I know something about, even and especially if I've never been interested in them. I can tell you a bunch of facts about wrestling and MLP and the Fast and the Furious simply through cultural osmosis and having friends who are into those things.

I can't tell you the plot of Homestuck, who the characters are, what the themes are, nothing. I've known a lot of people who were into Homestuck but nothing about the series!

So I thought it would thus be funny to make a video about a bunch of people who know nothing about the series starting from the beginning and giving their reactions, even if it's been years since it all started. I call this part of the video the "Homestuck Book Club." So the next step is me picking out the members (who all have to have no history with it) and making sort of a podcast setup. We'd then read and record every six months or so, IDK.

This is why the video has been stuck in production hell! Everyone who wants to work on it and messages me about it already knows the franchise. I don't want spoilers, I don't want people writing for the video who get it already. I want to capture the "what the fuck is this" energy of three dudes just getting in the middle of it.

Also, I think that I really like the theme of the video capturing our lives as they go by, capturing us aging and changing. If you came back from the future and told me this video comes out in five years, I'd say great. If you told me it comes out in ten years, I'd say awesome. Until then, the latest edit will always be on Patreon, even if you have to dig a little.

[sasaranurude]

Okay. I've been playing Tokyo Debunker today, since the release happened to catch me on a day when all I'd planned to do was write fanfiction. I just finished reading the game story prologue (it was longer than expected!), so here's a review type post. If you're reading this post not having seen a single thing about this game: it's a story-based joseimuke gacha mobile game that just released globally today. It's about a girl who suddenly finds herself attending a magic school and mingling with elite, superhuman students known as ghouls. If you look in the tumblr tag for the game you'll see what appears to be a completely different game from 2019 or so: they retooled it completely midway through development, changing just about everything about it due to "escalating competition within the gaming industry."

I'll talk about how this looks like a blatant twst clone at the end.

Starting with the positive: The story is charming. I enjoyed it thoroughly the entire time and am excited to read more. The mix between visual novel segments and motion comics was really nice--it broke things up and added a lot of oomph to the action or atmospheric scenes that visual novels generally lack. I like the art in the comic parts a lot. the live2d in the visual novel parts is... passable. Tone-wise, I think the story was a little bit all over the place and would like to see more of the horror that it opened on, but I didn't mind the comedic direction it went in either. The translation is completely seamless. The characters so far all have unique voices and are just super fun and cute. Of the ones who've had larger roles in the story so far, there's not a single one I dislike. It's all fully voiced in Japanese and the acting is solid. (I don't recognize any voices, and can't seem to find any seiyuu credits, so it seems they're not big names, but they deliver nonetheless.) Kaito in particular I found I was laughing at his lines a ton, both the voicing and the writing.

He's looking for a girlfriend btw. Spreading the word.

The problem is like. The gameplay is the worst dark-pattern microtransaction-riddled bullshit I've ever seen. Hundred passive timers going at all times. Fifty different item-currencies. Trying to get you to spend absurd amounts of real world money at every turn. There's like five different indicators that take you to various real-money shop items that I don't know how to dismiss the indicator, I guess you just have to spend money, wtaf. Bajillion different interlocking systems mean you have zero sense of relative value of all the different item-currencies. I did over the course of the day get enough diamonds for one ten-pull, which I haven't used yet. Buying enough diamonds for a ten-pull costs a bit under $60 (presumably USD, but there's a chance the interface is automatically making that CAD for me--not gonna spend the money to check lmfao), with an SSR rate of 1%. BULLSHIIIIIT.

There's like a goddamn thousand-word essay explaining the dozen different types of character upgrades and equippables and equippables for the equippables!! Bad! Bad game design! That's just overcomplicating bullshit to trick people into thinking they're doing something other than clicking button to make number go up! That is not gameplay!

In terms of the actual gameplay, there is none. The battle system is full auto. There might be teambuilding, but from what I've seen so far, most of that consists of hoping you pull good cards from gacha and then clicking button to make number go up. There's occasional rhythm segments but there's no original music, it's just remixes of public domain classical music lmao. I'd describe the rhythm gameplay as "at least more engaging than twisted wonderland's," which is not a high bar

At least there's a cat in the rhythm bit.

And like, ok, I gotta remark on how derivative it is. Like I mentioned in my post earlier, this game is unabashedly aping twisted wonderland's setting and aesthetic. (That said, most of the stuff it steals from twst is magic school stuff that twst also basically stole from Harry Potter, so...?) However, it isn't exactly like twst: in this one, the characters say fuck a lot and bleed all over the place and do violence. Basically, the tone is a fair bit more adult than twst's kid-friendly vibe. (Not, like, adult adult, and I probably wouldn't even call it dark--it's still rated Teen lol. Just more adult than twst.)

Rather than just being students at magic school, the ghouls also go out into the mundane world to go on missions where they fight and investigate monsters and cryptids. Honestly, the magic school setting feels pretty tacked-on. The things that are enjoyable about this would've been just as enjoyable in about any other setting--you can tell this whole aspect was a late trend-chasing addition, lmao. So, yeah, it's blatantly copying twst to try to steal some players, but... Eh, I found myself not caring that much. Someone more (or less) into twst than me may find it grating.

Character-wise, eh, sure, yeah, they're a bit derivative in that aspect too, but it's a joseimuke game, the characters are always derivative. Thus far the writing & execution has been solid enough that I didn't care if they were tropey. If I were to compare it to something else, I'd say the relationship between the protagonist and the ghouls feels more like that of the sage and wizards in mahoyaku than anything from twst. There's some mystery in exactly what "ghouls" are and their place in this world that has me intrigued and wanting to know more about this setting and how each of the characters feels about it. I have a bad habit of getting my hopes up for stories that put big ideas on the table and then being disappointed when they don't follow through in a way that lives up to my expectations, though.

So, my final verdict: I kind of just hope someone uploads all the story segments right onto youtube so nobody has to deal with the dogshit predatory game to get the genuinely decent story lol. Give it a play just for the story if you have faith in your ability to resist dark patterns. Avoid at all costs if you know you're vulnerable to gacha, microtransactions, or timesinks.

[nicoleanell]

Still on my kick of meta-ing about IWTV season 2 a few months too late. LOUMAND FIGHT TIME. I gotta be sad about something real quick.

There's definitely a thing in the Armand-apologist side of fandom (the street where I live) where it's often brought up that nothing Armand says in that argument is quite as vile and monstrous as the "groomed me into a little bitch" line. My obligatory disclaimer IN FAIRNESS TO LOUIS: (a) it's certainly not a one-sided fight and they do both get some very ugly hits in, (b) Armand was the sober one (I don't actually think that's much of an excuse but worth pointing out he immediately forgot what happened and apologized even BEFORE any mind-meddling), and (c) holy shit the rest of the episode exists and nothing that preceded Louis' suicide attempt was a justification for the way Armand reacted after it. Cool? Cool.

But still - yeah. That line is gross and extremely Not funny to me. It crosses such a huge line so fast there's almost nothing either of them could say to de-escalate from that. (In fact I'd argue it crosses a line FOR THE AUDIENCE more than it even registers as that bad to Armand, which in itself is kinda sad. Like… his instinct in that moment is laughing and throwing trauma insults back in a stupid Southern accent. He was - I cannot stress this enough - more upset by being called boring.)

I think there's something interesting about the fact that in universe the way Armand responds by mocking Louis' brother's suicide is just as horrible - because Paul's death is meant to be something that was formatively traumatic and life-changing for Louis - but I'm not sure that it fully hits the audience as viscerally terrible on the same level as making fun of Armand being raped by his daddy-vampire and others as. a. child.

But anyway, with the understanding no one came out taking the high road there... the thing that actually kills me about that exchange is we KNOW in that moment, watching them hurl these horrible horrible words at each other: these are things they opened up to each other about in the past. These are things they told each other. They've been together for decades already. This isn't a "digging into your head and pulling stuff out" kind of thing, like some fuckin' Daniel or whatever. This isn't common knowledge of their backstories just because the audience knows it already. They're both acting like "this is a thing you whine about all the time" when they've whined about it to vanishingly few people in the world, actually!!

Armand brings up Paul and Grace because Louis has talked about them, and he listened. Louis has told him about watching Paul step off the roof, about Grace at the cemetary. And Armand told Louis everything about Marius, and Louis filed that away in his brain with some extra words that Armand didn't use. At one point or another, they both unpacked the heaviest shit that ever happened to them and said "have this, I think it's why I am the way I am", they shared these things with each other in moments of intimacy and vulnerability and said "don't hurt me with this, obviously, okay?" And now they're here, unloading it all back onto each other as mockery. Yeah, I've heard you say all that stuff about your damage, and it's fucking pathetic and hilarious actually. It's not just like "I'm trying to hurt you by bringing this up", it's also "you've always sounded ridiculous to me when you talked about this stuff, you know that, right? I pretended to feel bad for you and I truly could not care less."

Like one of the reasons I think that scene is so jaw-dropping is there's so much intimacy and familiarity with each other implied and also shattered by it. And man how DO you ever get back from that. I would start the memory-erasing from that moment forward for sure.

[maya-caffrey]

Human 101: Sneaking Around

pairing: rk800 connor x reader

words: 1.5k

warnings: language, heavy making out, lack of proofreading, fic from reader's pov

summary: This week, we risk unemployment by getting *cough cough* busy at work (comedy, fluff)

additional context: reader is a detective with Detroit PD, reader and Connor are now dating (yay). Sequel to Human 101: Dancing

a/n: wrote some risque stuff this time and i am terrified hello :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I take my job very seriously. I love being a detective, and I believe rules are essential for keeping everybody in line. But hey, things happen. If you had told me say, a couple weeks ago that I'd lie to my superiors, break a whole lot of rules, and risk getting fired, all for some guy, I'd have laughed in your face and called you things I probably shouldn't say out loud.

But, like I said, things happen. Against all odds, there I was, stumbling backward into the evidence room, one hand fumbling for the doorknob while the other was tangled in my new boyfriend’s hair, his lips on mine like he was afraid to let go. I managed to get the door open and we practically fell inside, the door clicking shut behind us.

Connor took the split-second gap to slam me against the wall, staring into my eyes with a mischievous look he knew drove me crazy. I pulled him down by his tie, his lips crashing into mine with a fervor that left me breathless. He deepened the kiss, which I didn't even know was possible because 3 seconds in I was already giddy.

His lips left mine and trailed down to my jawline, sending shivers down my spine. The sharp edge of the cold metal shelving dug into my back, but I didn’t care. His hands were already tracing down my sides, pulling me impossibly closer.

“Connor,” I whispered, my voice shaky but still laced with desire. “We are so gonna get caught.”

"In that case, we'll be quick."

“You’re insufferable,” I managed to gasp, though my words lacked any real bite as his lips trailed down further, at a maddeningly slow pace. God, this was killing me.

“Am I?” he murmured against my skin, his tone low and teasing, the faintest smirk in his voice.

“Yes,” I shot back, tugging at the collar of his jacket to pull him closer. “You- God, you drive me insane.”

“Good,” he said simply, his lips brushing the sensitive spot just below my ear, making my breath hitch.

I was just about to tell him something- probably completely incoherent- when the door creaked open.

“What the hell-”

Connor froze mid-movement, his lips still pressed to my neck. I turned my head, heart dropping into my stomach, and there stood Hank. Hank. His face went through what could only be described as the five stages of grief in three seconds flat.

For a moment, nobody moved. The only sound was the hum of the fluorescent lights and the faint echo of music from down the hall. My face felt like it was on fire, but I couldn’t say a word. I prayed to every god I knew to make me disappear that very instant. It did not work.

Hank finally broke the silence. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“I- uh- this isn’t- ” I stammered, trying to pull myself together, but words were failing me. Somebody shoot me, please.

“Save it,” Hank interrupted, holding up a hand. His eyes flicked between the two of us, landing on Connor. “You. Romeo. What the hell are you doing in here?”

He slowly straightened, his LED flickering yellow as he turned to face Hank. His hair was disheveled and his shirt was practically undone, the tie only barely hanging on for formality. His head tilted slightly as his gaze darted to me, then back to Hank, then back to me.

“...What is the appropriate protocol in this situation?” he asked, his voice as calm as ever but tinged with just the faintest trace of curiosity. I just stared at him incredulously. How the fuck would I know the appropriate protocol for getting caught by your boss playing tonsil tennis at work.

“‘Protocol,’ my ass,” Hank grumbled, rubbing a hand over his face. “You’re supposed to be out there chasing perps, not- whatever this is.”

I could feel my soul trying to leave my body. “Hank, it’s not-”

“Oh, it’s exactly what it looks like,” Hank cut me off, leveling me with a glare. “You think I don’t know? I’ve seen rom-coms, kid. You think I don’t recognize the ol’ ‘hide in the evidence room for some slap and tickle’ move?”

“I assure you, Lieutenant,” Connor said, deadpan as always, “there was no slapping involved.”

I groaned audibly. “Connor, honey, stop helping.”

“Yeah, please do,” Hank grunted. He gestured between us. “Listen, I don’t care what you two do on your own time, but if I find out you’re doing it on my watch again, you’re both benched. Permanently.”

"Wait, so, you won't be reporting us to Fowler?"

"Report what? I didn't see nothing. Understood?"

“Yes, Lieutenant,” Connor and I said in unison, though Connor’s tone was far too composed for someone who’d just been caught with his partner’s tongue down his throat.

Hank sighed as he shook his head, muttering something about ‘damn androids and their hormones’ as he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

The second Hank stormed out of the room, I dropped my head back against the cold metal shelf with a groan. I was this close to just melting into the floor.

Connor, of course, was already straightening his tie, like it was no big deal. “That could’ve gone worse.”

I shot him a look, my hands still trembling from the adrenaline. “Really? You think? Because I’m pretty sure Hank just walked in on us doing... that.”

He raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Well, Hank didn’t report us. So, I’d say we came out on top.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, even though my face was still redder than a lobster. “Yeah, sure, no big deal. Just your boss catching you- us- in the middle of... whatever the hell that was.”

He shrugged casually, like it was just another Tuesday. “He didn’t seem too upset. Besides, I’m sure he’s seen worse.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, crossing my arms. “I don’t even want to know what he’s seen.”

Connor shot me a knowing look, that signature smirk of his never leaving. “What can I say? The guy’s been around.”

I had half a mind to throw something at him, but honestly, I didn’t have the energy to care anymore. I was still processing the fact that Hank had basically given us the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ treatment.

"You know we’re gonna get an earful from him later, right?" I muttered, feeling my face go a little hotter. "He's gonna be all, ‘You kids are lucky I’m a softie.’"

Connor laughed, the sound so carefree I almost wanted to smack him. “Hey, at least we got out of it.”

I turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. “You think we got out of it? He just let us off the hook because he’s... what, distracted by whatever his new favorite bar’s got on tap?”

“Hey, whatever works,” Connor said with a grin, completely unbothered.

I gave him a look, walking toward the door. “Yeah, well, next time, let’s not make the whole department part of our ‘special moments,’ okay?”

He followed me out, casually fixing his jacket. “You know I can’t promise that.”

I shot him a sideways glance, feeling the heat still simmering beneath my skin. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

Connor’s smirk only deepened as he sidled up beside me, his breath warm against my ear. “You love it,” he whispered, voice low and velvety.

A shiver ran down my spine before I could even process it, and I could feel my pulse pick up. Fuck him. I turned my head just enough to catch the glint in his eyes, but not quite enough to meet his gaze directly.

“Stop,” I muttered, voice coming out weaker than I’d like.

He didn’t, in fact, stop. In fact, he leaned in closer, his lips almost brushing my ear as he added, “I can’t, if you keep looking at me like that.”

“I’m serious, Connor,” I warned, but the slight quiver in my voice betrayed me.

I tried to stay annoyed, but I could feel it slipping, like trying to hold onto water with a sieve. But the second he leaned in closer, that same teasing smirk still tugging at his lips, it hit me. He was messing with me.

I blinked, suddenly realizing he’d been toying with me this whole time. Damn android.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” I asked, the realization making my cheeks heat up.

“Absolutely,” he replied without missing a beat, his voice a low hum in my ear.

I couldn’t help but laugh (at myself, mostly), shaking my head in disbelief. “You’re so mean.”

"Yeah, you love it."

"Well, just, try not to get us caught next time."

"Now, where's the fun in that?"

[conspicuous-clown-car]

what a morning,,,

here's a rant about the pressure community

I've been kinda lurking on pressure twitter for the past few weeks while all this shit went down and i just gotta say... jesus fuck.

I practically had a heart attack as soon as i opened my phone when i woke up and saw zeal was trying to sell pressure. Considering how he changed his profile last night to a strictly corporate one and then this? It seemed like a really hasty decision, and something serious was going on with him.

And yknow what, with all the hate being directed at him right now i don't blame him one fucking bit. I'd probably end up doing the same thing if i was in his shoes. Being autistic as well, i would just want to completely distance myself from this overwhelming bullshit. I think that's why he started to distance himself from the community in the first place (which unfortunately is kinda what led to some issues getting overlooked).

The tweet was deleted and pressure isn't for sale anymore thank GOD, but I'm honestly more worried about the actual people behind pressure than the game itself.

I agree that there's issues they need to fix, but its not an entirely black and white situation, and its pretty fucking complicated. With the sheer amount of people in the community its crazy to expect them to handle and manage everything themself, especially since they blew up in popularity in such a short amount of time, how the hell would they know how to deal with this???

Yes, there are certain things they need to actually address and take responsibility for that they sort of haven't, but attacking them to where it gets to this point isn't the fucking answer.

I wouldn't blame any of the devs if they never touch the game again, the way the community has treated them and has completely blown things out of proportion is insane. I feel like the main issue is the discord server itself but that's just me. From what I've seen its mostly just the community self cannibalizing, attacking each other, sending death threats, and doxxing people over shit that literally doesn't matter at all.

I'm not one to really delve into fandom drama, but this whole issue with certain possessive Sebastian fans and those who took it upon themselves to attack those fans is the stupidest fucking conflict I've ever seen in any fandom. Especially when this stuff reaches the people who work on the games who have nothing to do with it.

I agree that this is something the devs need to talk about head on with full transparency, no matter their feelings on it, because a main problem I've seen with them is lack of community management.

But again, y'all are forgetting the devs are REAL FUCKING PEOPLE, people who are bound to make mistakes, and get overwhelmed, and not know how to deal with suddenly having a giant fanbase. Harassing them and sending death threats is going way too fucking far and wont solve anything, because clearly all its done is made things worse.

Also god forbid they have boundaries and don't want to see certain things in the discord server. I'm not gonna get into the specifics, but as a queer trans person I think some of y'all are reading too much into the things they don't allow, seriously.

Reminder, I'm saying all this as someone who self-ships with Sebastian, and who's not entirely thrilled about him being canonically married. BUT PRIORITIZING A FICTIONAL CHARACTER OVER REAL PEOPLE????? THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YALL???

And to the people I've seen disappointed in zeal's response to all this on twitter, I'm with you, not seeing whats happening in the community doesn't mean these problems don't exist. But think about the shit he's going through, put yourself in his shoes and genuinely try to understand how fucking overwhelming this whole situation is, for him and the rest of the team. Especially after what's happened in the past 24 hours.

Tangent, but am i the only one who's seen a drastic change in the way fandom communities operate in the past few years? Like after lockdown fandom spaces have gotten more and more hostile, and people are just being so fucking mean to each other over the most trivial shit??? Listen I Get being chronically online, because i am, but at a certain point you just gotta log the fuck off and touch some grass, man. christ.

I really hope the devs take a break, they need it. I was excited about the update that was supposed to come out this month but I don't think it will now, and I honestly don't think we deserve it.

TL;DR: Pressure fandom, do better. Speaking from both points of view, no matter the various mistakes the dev team has made, the majority of this is on y'all.

And lastly, I'd honestly rather keep pressure exactly the way it is with no updates and no new stuff ever again than for it to turn into roblox slop like most of the games that are sold off on that platform.

[love-takes-work]

coworker apparently thinks Garnet is Harley Quinn

A very old funny interaction with clueless coworker (whose name is blacked out in the blue rectangles), in screencaps from my social media when it happened.

And just for context, this dude just could not talk his way out of a wet paper bag. I'm sure it's partially just awkwardness (which I have never minded at all), but a lot of it was this really gross disrespectful PROMPTING that he would do in all of his interactions with me. He'd say something with no context, something we'd never spoken about, and expect me to "catch on." (Examples: "So! Any news?" "About what?" "Well weren't we waiting for an ANSWER on that?" "On what?" [scoffing, snuffling, shaking his head exaggeratedly, sighing and walking away]. Or he'd drop a paper on my desk. I'd ask him what it was. He'd wordlessly POINT at it. I'd ask him again what it is. He'd pick it up, sighing aggressively, rattle it around, and say "YOU left this in the COPIER!!" I had not left it in the copier and it was not mine. He would then holler about how is HE supposed to know that and stomp away, and then someone else would come looking for their papers in the copier and they'd be confused why I had them.) He did NOT do this with my boss or most of the other people we worked with. Just me. I guess because I'm the office blonde and usually the only woman in the room.

Anyway, he was in the top 10 of annoying people I've worked with and here is an irritating story.

And then another one a long-ass time later:

Transcript:

Pic 1:

There's no way he's a real person. C'mon, life, quit foolin' around here.

[Redacted] came up to my desk and said he wanted to ask me a question, and then hesitantly hemmed and hawed his way through false starts that sounded like "I was wondering . . . um last night . . . I was thinking . . . there was this thing. . . . So, do you know Amy . . . Quinn?"

I do not know Amy Quinn.

He seemed surprised.

Then he begins explaining that she's in some movie and he thought I liked her.

Sorry, no.

Pic 2:

But then he elaborates. "Amy" is one of the characters in a movie he's just seen and he thought I was a fan of the character and wanted me to know that he liked the movie. And further elaboration made it clear that he . . . was actually talking about Harley Quinn.

(I haven't seen any movies with her in them, but yeah, I know who she is.)

I asked why he thought I had a connection with her and he was like "isn't that her on your cup?"

****Fuuuuuuuuuuck I am so offended****

[Image of Harley Quinn next to coffee mug featuring Garnet of Steven Universe. They do not at all resemble one another, but both wear bodysuits featuring a red leg and a black leg.]

Pic 3:

You gotta be kidding me!!

[redacted] just came over and told me he saw something that he'd been meaning to tell me regarding my cartoon stuff. He fumbled verbally repeating himself and then concluded he didn't remember what it was and would come back.

Then he came back with "I remembered!!" and explained to me that he gets comic book-related events bulletins in his email and a comic store I live nowhere near is having a signing with a comic book writer I've never heard of. He was baffled that I didn't recognize the name because he thought I was "into comics." When I told him I have very niche interests in comics, he elaborated that it was something he thought I was specifically into. Several trips round and round the blunder wheel yielded the information that it was a writer for Harley Quinn comics.

This shit again.

He thinks I like Harley Quinn even though I have never read or watched a single thing about this character. He believes Garnet is Harley Quinn and I can't get him to stop misunderstanding.

[danaduchy]

all texts from River

Willing to testify? Hey, V. It's River. Question - would you be willing to testify against Holt and Han? * Hey, River. Sure. Thanks. Might not be necessary - asking just in case. * Don't count on me. Can't stick my head out right now Too bad. But it's fine, I get it… I hate to say it, but… You were right all along What happened? Nothing much to tell. Testifying is a snooze-fest anyway. Ehhh, I know better ways to have fun ;) Don't doubt it - first time I saw you, I knew you had that kinda vibe…

Urgent: need your help Hey, V. There's this thing I really could use your help with. Heavy stuff. Please come to the Glen in the evening. Sending you the location now.

Waiting for you Hey, V. I'm at the market in Japantown. Come by when you're free. Lost track of you somewhere, but I found Christine Markov. Waiting for you. I'm at the address the CI gave us. Dump looks sketch. I'll wait for you. Waiting in front of the CI's store. It'd go a lot smoother if you were here… come over, alright?

Come here please Couldn't wait around any longer for you, V. Take care… V, where are you? I'm waiting… Hey, where are you? We don't have time - come back quick, please! Don't have time to wait for you, V. Randy's out there and he needs our help. Looks like I'm doing this alone… V, where are you? I'm waiting in the car…

Where are you?! V, where are you? We're losing time. Get back here, quick! I'm counting on you. Don't have time to wait for you, V. Randy's out there and he needs our help. Looks like I'm doing this alone… I can't believe you just left me like that - not a word, nothing. Doesn't change the fact that someone's still gotta save Randy, so I guess I'll do it without you. You truly know how to disappoint, V. I'd rather you stayed out of my life from now on. Goodbye.

Where are you??! Get back here! I don't know where you are, but I can't keep waiting. Thanks for your help till now, but I need to hurry up and find Randy… V, where are you? Heading back to the car. Get over here and help me, please! V, where are you? We have to save Randy, I need your help! Strange of you to leave at this particular time. I just hope Randy'll make it out alive… I'm heading back to that barn. Where are you?!? I don't know where you went, but I can't keep waiting. Randy needs help! You could've called quits at any other moment, V, but you chose that one? Well, guess what. Randy's dead. You and I are finished. You could've called quits at any other moment, V, but you chose that one? Thankfully, Randy's alive. Thought you might wanna know. Quick, get in the car! We need to go!!!

Need your help again ;) Hey, V, I'm gonna go visit Randy in the hospital and wanna buy him a present. Got any tips? * How should I know? He's not my nephew… * How about a new record? Some fresh tunes might cheer him up Good thinking. How about you? How're ya holding up? * I'm all right. Question is how you're handling all this… Still haven't decompressed after everything, but at least I'm not worried sick. Randy's alive and that's all that matters. * Been a rollercoaster of a ride lately, so biz as usual I guess. You? Manage to unwind yet? Which beer are you on right now? xD Still haven't gotten around to that, but I promise I'll drink one for you ;) What if I said you didn't have to? We should celebrate - just you, me - somewhere chilled, laidback… whaddaya think? ;) Now there's an idea! I'll keep it in mind ;) Alright then, take care, Riv. And tell Randy I said hi! How's your ride? Still in one piece? Banged it up pretty bad… Docs say she's in critical condition, but she'll pull through ;) * We could knock a few back together if you want… Well… how could I say no to that ;) Sweet. And tell Randy I said hi! Course I will. Take care of yourself, V! * I think it's about time I got to know the real River Ward… Hehe, well I think the real River and the real V would get along perfectly… I'll be in touch soon;) See ya later! And if you need anything, just holler.

Dinner at Joss's Hey V. Feel like swinging by Joss's for dinner? * Sure, be happy to join. Great! See you then! * Thanks for the invite, but have to catch you next time. Gotcha. Well, just gimme a call if you change your mind, k? I missed you, you know. * Missed you too. See ya soon then. * C'mon… hasn't been that long. * Me too, but now's not the best time. * Sorry, but definitely another time, yeah? Alright, another time then.

It's all fucked Harris is a corpse, V. I killed him and covered my tracks. Even if I don't fully understand why I did. This is goodbye. V, I just wanted to say… I'm really grateful for your help, even if we fucked it all up. I just… I have to forgive Harris, forget about what he did to Randy, put everything and everyone behind me. That includes you. I'm sorry Harris is a corpse. I killed him and covered my tracks. It's finally over… Goodbye, V. I know you couldn't care less, but Harris is a corpse. I iced him and covered my tracks. The nightmare's finally over… and this is goodbye.

Hope you had fun Hey V, hope everything's alright with you… Thanks for dropping by. I had a really good time :) I'm really glad you dropped by. Missing you already ;) * Yeah, it was cool That's good OK, maybe this isn't the best time… Lemme know when you wanna meet. * Thanks for inviting me. I had a nice time too. Your family's awesome Well my family thinks I've got an awesome friend ;) Joss says hi. You have no idea how nice it is to see her smile again… Thanks for everything, V. You should come over again soon :) Next time I'm buying dinner. See ya! Thanks, River. Take care. * We should do that again. Especially the second half of the evening… :P Oh, I'm all for a round two - I've already got some new ideas that'll drive you crazy ;) You'll be begging… Begging for more… But seriously - I've got a good feeling about this. And well… I'm just happy, like, dumb happy, you know? You're really amazing, V. Hey listen, about the thing with Johnny. I can imagine it must be pretty hard on you. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. * Thanks. That means a lot to me * Thanks, but don't worry. I'll figure something out Just remember you can always count on me. For anything Thanks, River. You too. We'll get El Chamuco next time :) Bye! Hmmm OK, guess you're busy… Hang in there, V

Hey V… I was tidying up the bedroom when I realized there's way more space here than I need all to myself. If you ever want to leave a few things at my place, feel free. Something cozy to slip into… or maybe just a box of grenades. You know, the usual ;)

Randy says hi! * Oh, you visited him at the hospital? What did he think of your gift? Loved it, actually. I mentioned it was your idea. Well… He sure tried to look like he enjoyed it. Gotta sharpen up my uncling skills pronto. * Always happy to help. With anything :) Anything, you say? I'll keep that in mind :) * Randy knows he can count on you That's what matters. Don't hesitate to hit me up. Whatever you need. * Hi Randy! :P How is he? Getting better, I hope? Yeah, he gets stronger every day. You have no idea how grateful we are. * Glad I could help. By the way - I was at the hospital and met the parents of those two boys we'd saved at the farm. They wanted me to thank you. * Randy's lucky to have a family like that. * For you, I'm available 24/7 :) 24/7? Don't think I won't pick you up on that! * Randy's lucky to have a cool uncle! Since we're exchanging niceties - I met the parents of those two boys we'd saved at the farm. They wanted me to thank you. * Good to know they're recovering. * Shame we managed to save only two of them… You shouldn't think like that. We did what we could. Oh, and I also met with Yawen. You know, the one from the lab. * I know, the one who's your ex. Ancient history. Exactly. * The lab? You'll have to refresh my memory. Yawen Packard. She helped us with the Peter Pan case. My ex, remember? * Reigniting the old flame, are we? You couldn't be more wrong. Someone else is on my mind these days. Don't know about that. I feel like too much is happening right now to even consider it. Good luck with that, River. She seemed like one of the good ones. Time will tell. Keep your fingers crossed, anyway. I'll see you around. * Right. How is she? I thanked her for helping us with Harris. She risked her job back then. Sends her regards. * Right. And how did you "thank" her, exactly? Oh my, V! Did I just smell a hint of jealousy there? * Maybe, maybe not, maybe fuck you? :P Haha! You have nothing to worry about, really. Promise. Hope to see you soon, V. * Jealous? For you? Gimme a break :D Not for me, for Yawen! She's a great catch - intelligent, stable job, doesn't leave dirty dishes in the sink… She's all yours for the taking! Seriously though, hope to see you soon. Take care, V. * That's nice of her, thanks So… Have a good one, V!

Weird dream You were in my dreams today, you know? * Hope I wasn't haunting you! …in a way. Wanna hear it? * Don't think I wanna know the details XD Think you can handle it? ;) * Don't know if I'm ready for that today. Shame… Thought you'd like that. * Hit me! Can't pass on an opportunity like that! Well, I woulda told you anyway. You were riding a motorcycle, jacked into it via smart link. Your every thought, every reaction were immediately picked up by the machine. Before a turn, the bike leaned to the side before you even thought about it. When you pushed on the throttle, it roared forward, eager to please and thrill you. Your thighs were clutching its metal body, your muscles pulsating with excitement as you dashed down the highway… You probably figured by now I was the bike in the dream. And then… then I woke up. What do you think? Who haunted whom? * Who are you and what have you done to River Ward XD That bad, huh? Well, you win some, you confuse some :) Time to park the bike in the garage. FOREVER. * Now I really wanna see that engine running ;) It's as good as the rider :D

help with name Hey, V. I could use your help with a tricky matter. Don't worry, the only thing needs saving this time is my dignity. Remember when I told you I considered becoming a PI? * Course. Still hoping to see that private dick in private action ;) Well now the private dick is blushing! * Sure I do. I'm gonna go for it. Feels like the right move for me. Combining the familiar with something new. And you played a part in it too, you know? And not a small one at that! Which is why I'd like for you to pick a name for my new enterprise. Whaddya say? * I'm sure you can come up with a good one. It's your business, after all. Come on. I've seen how creative you can get. Help me out on this one. Please? * Fine. But I thought all those years of interrogating people left you with more wit than that :P Phew. That's a load off my shoulders. I'll be waiting, then! Give me your suggestions, I will pick the right one. Simple as that. * Damnit. Fine. I'll think about it. * Sounds tempting, I'm in! But… But? I'll help you, but I need a list of suggestions. Ain't great at marketing, you know. Ugh. I'll bet your sweet ass I'm even worse at this! I will suggest the names and you pick one. I was actually counting on that. Got anything good? How about "Warning Shot PI" or "NC Crime Ward?" NC Crime Ward sounds good… How about "Private Sherlock?" :P Edgewood Findings PI." Or maybe "NC Crime Ward." "My Justice PI" or "NC Crime Ward." Oh, wow. Don't know what to choose now… "Warning Shot Private Investigations." For sure. Night City Crime Ward. For sure. Edgewood Findings Private Investigations. No doubt. My Justice Private Investigations. Really like that one. Hmm… * You don't like those? I do. A lot, actually. Just need to sleep on it now. * Hmm? I got some options, now I have to sleep on them. * Could sleep with me, you know ;) Was thinking the same thing ;) We're in touch! * Let me know :) I will. Unless I decide I don't like your suggestions, in which case I'll start actively avoiding you :P

Still thinking. * About me and my goods, I hope? Especially about your goods. * So much thinking… Poor, dry River! Laugh all you want. Thinking isn't exactly in the NCPD job description. Okay, two ideas right off the bat: "River Ward Patrol" or "Detective Hunch Private Investigations." Thoughts? * River Ward Patrol is funny. I like it. Hmm… Why? River… Ward… Patrol. It's not clear to you? Suits your personality. Trust me on this, baby! * Detective Hunch PI… That's cool. It really says everything about you, babe :) Carries a promise of a genuine detective. Right. Makes sense. Thank you, V, you helped me a lot! Already mentioned that you deserve a lot of credit for all of this. But I'll understand if you don't want to have anything to do with it. * Look, I'm happy for you, setting up a new business and everything. But really, it's your future, you should be the one making important decisions like that. * Sorry, River. Don't really have the time for this right now. Fine. I still like you, though. I like you too, you big dummy. More "big" than "dummy," I hope! I'll keep in touch about this. Let me know what you decided on!

Hey! I talked to my neighbors today and I got really inspired. I think I got it. Ready? Here goes… "Your Super-Detective Companion." I'll get a big, old-fashioned signboard and everything. What do you think? It's great, right? * The name won't matter once they see that handsome face of yours ;) Now that's a good answer if I ever saw one! You deserve a special kiss for that :* * Awesome! Matches you perfectly XD …you're messing with me now, aren't you? * Hey, you're a super-detective to me! :* * I'm totally not! It really is perfect. Damn, do I like you, girl :)

Official Private I - that's me! Guess what, V… Today, I founded my very own company! It's official! Night City Crime Ward | Warning Shot P.I. | Edgewood Findings P.I. | My Justice P.I. | River Ward Patrol | Detective Hunch P.I. | Your Super-Detective Companion Has a nice ring to it, don't ya think? You - a merc. Me - a P.I. Quite the pair and not all that unalike. We help the client find what they can't find themselves. * Yeah, true. Easy to get lost in the details Exactly. And I'd rather not dwell on those details… Or the old cop in me is gonna get antsy * Dunno… Somtimes its my job to keep things hidden See? We complement each other. That's good business ;) * A merc doesn't always need answers. Sometimes we go in blind Well, not even the lucky ones get to work with complete info… Still, see what you mean. But if I'm looking for a missing person, it'd be good to know if they don't wanna be found. Like a woman fleeing her abusive husband. * A problem solved for one client raises a new problem for another Not sure you have any idea just how many enemies I made in my service with the NCPD. I know a thing or two about replacing old problems with new ones :) * But I gotta say. Bein a merc, having flexible hours is quite the perk So you're on call 24/7? Hey, if you like it… :D * At least bein a detective means bein insured Right! Thanks for the reminder. Knew I forgot something… Btw, cross your fingers for me. Think I might have my first contract. Client has til the end of today to decide and give me the scoop. It's re: a disappearance, which is perfect. That's where I see myself focusing my effort. * Not gonna focus any of that effort on me? Hmmm… Now what could that mean… Wait, don't telll me, I'm a detective after all ;) * Only without any repeats of Peter Pan I hope. Gotta watch your back Nah, c'mon. Don't worry about little old me. Athough it is cute :) * Ever take a shower and just get lost in thought? Gonna be me today. Thinking about you… Oooh… well if you do get lost, I'll be there to find you. ;) Unfortunately gotta put down my phone for a bit, but we'll talk soon. Givin you kisses up down and all around. * Gonna miss hangin out while you're out there finding all the city's missing You're always at the top of my to-do list! Unfortunately truth is I do actually gotta go right now. Hang in there, V. Love ya lots!

Memories Sat for a spell on the water tower yesterday, you know the one. Couldn't stop thinking about last time. Us up there, that view… Never thought I was the puppy love type, but here we are… * Ah good times… No, wait… the best times. I'm glad you feel the same. I've been buried in this city for so long now it feels like, with you, I've finally dug my out, filled my lungs with fresh air for the first time. Does that make sense? It's such a strange, new, wonderful feeling I can't even describe it. * If you're gonna climb 50 feet for memories, just do me a favor and watch your step Haha! I may be falling for you, but not off that tower. Not now that I have someone in my life who can make me laugh again… And make me feel like I'm always soaring 50 feet above the earth :) Say, you ever think about your roots? Where you come from, where you're going, and all that? Just thinkin how my parents didn't and now I know so little about my ancestors. I've tried to connect with other people of the Pomo tribe here in NC but they're either all gone or they're like me and Joss - lost and detached. Heard there's strong community in NorCal but idk… maybe someday. * All that matters to me now is where I'm going and who I share the road with Maybe you're right. It's about where you choose to put down your own roots and who to build a life around. * I come from a world of cash grabs and power struggles. Not much else there to think on… * My old tribe… they're long gone. But the world keeps moving. It never stands still * My roots have always been right here in Night City. Used to think I knew what that meant, now I'm not so sure Yeah, why dwell on what's not yours anymore or never was. It's about where you choose to put down your own roots and who to build a life around. * That's you and me, River. We're one tribe now God dammit, V, I love you. Still can't believe the lucky bastard I am to have you * Prefer to focus on the here and now. The time to plant roots comes later Right. All anyone can do is seize the day. One day at a time. | Right. First we gotta get that squatter out of your head.

Sorry, can't take a holo right now, a little tied up. But hit me - what's up? Need your help * Got a sec? Could use your help * Got a moment for someone in need? Course, what's the issue? Straight to biz. Gotta admit it stings a little that I only get a sign of life when there's trouble. As much as I admire your directness, we really gotta work on our foreplay :) So tell me what's goin on * A couple acquaintances of mine found themselves in trouble. Talkin real bad * I met this pair, both are BARGHEST. Y'know, Dogtown goons. They're in a tough spot That's why I need 4 power generators Whoa whoa you need what? Generators…?? * Ahem… Word is the boys over Santo recently confiscated some generators… ;) I think I got just the thing… Hold on, need to think a sec. I always excpected we'd throw some fun surprises at each other. This… I did not expect. BUT that doesn't mean I'm any less willing to help! There's an evidence locker with some generators on file But you do remember I got kicked off the force, right? Surely you're not asking me to steal NCPD property or grease anyone's palms… * I'll be straight with you. This is a life or death situation. Fully serious Ahhh fuck it… ok. I've kept in contact with a couple friendly faces who still owe me a favor. I'll figure something out I'll get you those generators. I'll even toss in the fixer's delivery fee. They'll drop them in the dumpsters by the Coronado Bay movie theater. * Thanks, River. Seriously. You're a big softie at heart I know I know… :) Oh I know… Just don't tell anyone. No one's gonna hire a big softie for their hard-line detective :) <3 xo * You. Are. The. Best. What can I say - just like to help I like you, V. A fact you know how to use to your advantage. But dammit if that's not part of your charm ;)

Think about me sometimes? hey, how goes it? still think about me from time to time? * not right now, sorry. got a pretty demanding gig, need to stay focused. I respect that. Staying focused is staying safe. * I could use your input for this complicated gig I'm on right now If you wanna talk about, I'm here. Who knows, maybe I could even help… * I was actually thinking about you - my imagination was running wild until you interrupted me ;) Well now you HAVE to give me details…! * oh you know - just a cozy evening together :) Seeing as our ideas for a date match up, maybe we should set things in motion? * only thing you need to know is that whipped cream was involved… Well excuuuuse me… Instead of saying sorry, I could make it up to you by helping you reenact that scene in real life…? * my imagination, my biz ;) All good, understood. You've got your secrets, I've got one or two of my own ;) * there's still a lot I don't know. it's a complex sitch. I'll tell you everything later Not an appropriate subject for the holo, hm? I get it. * Definitely not. But maybe sometime over a drink…? * Definitely not right now. Eyes and ears everywhere. * well, I guess I'm basically a bodyguard. one-time thing, but with the potential for future cooperation. Just remember that no matter what the job is or who it's for - your safety's most important * Gig I'm on's pretty layered, complex - maybe another time…? I'll hit you up, don't worry ;) * can't spill detes, but it's not the best time. for now we'll have to settle for fantasies * let's leave it at that :) I'll catch up with you later, promise I get it. Do what you have to do. In my experience, sacrificing too much on someone's behalf rarely pays off. People's gratitude is usually shortlived and the money doesn't last forever. * I know, I know. I'll explain everything some other time. Course, I'll let you get back to it. We'll catch up later. Maybe over dinner, who knows ;) * No need for the lecture - I got this. Course, I never doubted you. I just hope we'll meet up soon to chat… Whatever happens, look after yourself :) * I'll try. you too - I'll make sure to check <3 * thanks. I just hope all's good between us. Next time just give me a sign, anything, that you're still alive…

Someone misses you! V! How've you been? * River! How've YOU been? Ha, good, good. But could always be better… * Pretty good, you? All's well, thanks. Although I'd love to hear you ask me that in person… * Can't complain. What, you miss me? :) Wow, good read. You ever thought about becoming a detective? :P You probably already guessed what this is all about… want to meet up? Catch up? * Definitely! Come by my megabuilding apartment :) Perfect! Be there in a flash! * What would you say to a house party in Northside? Great idea! Should I bring chips…? * Wanna meet in Japantown? Sounds great! I'll head out soon! * Yeah, swing by my place in the Glen! I'll clean myself up and be right over! * Hell yeah, come downtown to my pad in Corpo Plaza! It's settled then :) So, yeah… Ok! Can't wait! * Let's do it! Time to rock Dogtown! Haven't you heard what they do to the cops behind that wall? Do me a favor and keep us within NCPD jurisdiction :P * Today's not great for me… sorry :( Guess you'll have to keep missin me :P Ouch! Heartless! :P I'm sure we'll have better luck next time!

Hey, sweetie… Can I call you that? Sweetie? hmm… Maybe… you'd like to get together again? If you're not opposed… Hey, how's your day been? Mine's been full of thoughts of you :) Any chance you'd like to enjoy my humble company? Do you know how much I like you? T H I S M U C H I'd like to do something for you. Like… maybe visit? If you're looking to improve your day… maybe I can help? :) * You read my mind :) Come to my megabuilding apartment * Well aren't you adorable? :P Meet me in Northside Good thing I can't get speeding tickets ;) * I'd love that! Swing by Japantown! Sit back. I'll be there soon <3 * Can't say no to you! Come to my place in the Glen ;) Getting ready now. Me and the butterflies in my stomach :P * Let's meet downtown, Corpo Plaza <3 * Hmm… how about a dog day in Dogtown? ;) I… would prefer Night City, if I'm being honest :)

Hey there, beautiful :) You know, think it probably goes without saying at this point but… you bring light to my life, V. If you feel the same, just remember - one word and I'm at your doorstep <3 * I do. And I'll let you know when I'm free again, I promise! You have my number. I mean… obviously, haha. * You're sweet :) Can't wait to see you again soon Already counting the hours and seconds :) * Just remember to knock :P Ha, I'll need a signature knock then. Don't want you confusing me with a Buck-A-Slice delivery :D Well… talk later!

What's up, River? Got anything on your plate? Be nice to see you :) Hey, V! Work is pretty light right now. Can I come by your place? :) A lot of somethings on my plate right now, actually. :( But I'll let you know when I'm free!

You spoil me Haha, thanks for the gift, V. This thing is 100x better than my old police cruiser! V, what a romantic! Do these flowers smell like you too? Or is that just my wishful thinking? ;) * Just a pity I can't box up my kisses and send you those too :-* * y'know, you're the only gift I could ever ask for <3 I love you, babe <3 As for sharing memories, I'd love to tell you more about myself. But… by "dry" did you mean "sober"? * Well, y'know, a few drinks in and the eyelids get heavy. And I don't wanna miss a word ;) Say, just how much have you had to drink today, hm?? :P * Nah, just a joke about the water tower :P Haha, well I know other places too, you know :)

Unexpected trip outta NC Hey, just wanted to let ya know I'll be outta town a few weeks. Somethin suddenly came up Outta town? Without me? * If this trip was for pleasure, you'd already be packin your bags ;) I know, just kiddin around. But you'll be home quick, yeah? Do my best * Not missin much. This trip isn't exactly for fun Then why go? What's this about? Tell ya once I'm back. :) For now, gotta delta

Please? Can you pick up? Just pick up. I don't like to play games Where the hell are you? I'm turning NC upside down trying to find you… PICK UP THE HOLO Please I'm begging you Johnny…? Just one call, you owe me that much

Wanna grab a beer? V, feelin thirsty? Beer's on me. Wanted to bounce a thought off ya. and of course enjoy the company of the preemest woman in the city ;) Or… maybe you're working a big gig right now? V, everything ok? I'm trying to call, can you please answer? Hey, checking in. It's been a few weeks… Hey again, starting to get real worried now. You said just a few weeks and that was half a YEAR ago Make that a full year… what the hell? 17 missed calls from River Ward

[kouchabu-archive]

Hajime Shino 4☆ Feature Scout 2

Title: President Grass and Pizza

Writer: Suika

Season: Summer

NOTE: I EXPLICITLY PROHIBIT USAGE OF ANY PART OF MY TRANSLATIONS ON ANYTHING THAT RELATES TO AI.

-----------

Rinne: (Hehe, today’s my lucky day!)

(Who knew I'd bag a big win in the slot machines today! Ain't that enough to make up for my losses this month?)

(I thought that of course I'd come home and celebrate, but I pro'lly got carried away and bought too many ingredients.)

(Well, not that I need to worry about leftovers when Niki's right there.)

(I gotta get back quick and let Niki—… Hm? That guy over there is…)

Hajime Shino-kun from Ra*bits, ain't it?

Hajime: Amagi-senpai? Hello~

Rinne: He~ya. Thrillin' to know that you remember this li'l ol' me's name.

So, what're ya hidin’ in the grass for? Up to somethin’ sneaky?

Are you buryin’ treasure or somethin'? Ya look like a little puppy digging like that~

Hajime: Oh, no. I just came to pick these up.

Rinne: Huh. Your bag has…some leaves and grass?

Hajime: That's right! I got quite a lot of them ♪

Rinne: Pickin' up wild grass, huh… Why?

Hajime: ? I'm going to eat them, of course?

Rinne: ………Ah, I got it. I can see what you're up to now.

That's for a TV show, isn't it? You should've told me earlier~

Hajime: Oh, this isn't for TV though? It's just that I got a craving for it since it's been a while since I ate these so I went here and got some.

Rinne: ………………

(From what I remember, aren't Ra*bits supposed to be a popular unit?)

(Well, not as much as UNDEAD or Akatsuki from the same agency but… each member seems to be goin’ strong in their own way, right?)

(So to see him here picking up grass like this… Never thought they're in deep shit that they can't even properly keep their stomachs full.)

'S that so? But ain't Seisoukan fully stocked with food? There's also lots of snacks in the ES break room, yeah?

If you're havin' trouble finding something to eat, ain't those better places to search in?

If anyone sees their precious idol foraging for grass in a place like this, that's not really a good look with the public, y'know?

Hajime: Trouble finding something to eat…?

Ah, no! You've got it wrong! I'm not gathering grass like this because I'm having trouble with money!

When I got on the phone with my family, we happened to talk about how we used to eat grass a lot when I was younger.

And then I just suddenly craved that nostalgic taste so I came here to pick these up. I normally eat properly, so please don't worry that much about it~

Rinne: Oh, so that's it? You made me uncharacteristically nervous for a sec there.

Hajime: I'm sorry for making you worry.

Rinne: Nah, don't mind it. My fault for jumpin' to conclusions so fast.

In fact, those grass growin' out there are delicious too. I also used to forage for them back when I was a li'l boy so I get ya, Hajime-kun.

I even used to go to the mountains to pick up some edible wild plants.

Thanks to that, I got some basic stuff down when it comes to edible grass. This one and this one can be eaten. This one's not. This one's edible too, but it's not really good.

Hajime: Wow! You didn't miss any! You're really knowledgeable about them!

Rinne: Hehe, told ya right? This ol' me won't ever lie ♪

This one's tasty if you blanch it a little. And this one's something that only Niki could munch on.

Hajime: Huh?! Shiina-senpai can eat this? I had an upset stomach when I ate this one by mistake.

Rinne: Yeah, same here. After eating it, I felt like dyin' the next day—couldn't move at all. But that guy's all fine and dandy.

Maybe it's got somethin' that only his stomach can digest. He's the one who cooked it, after all.

Hajime: Shiina-senpai is really good with cooking, isn't he? ♪

Rinne: Yeah. That guy's real good with his hands when it comes to food. Everything he makes is delicious. When I get home, I'll have him cook for me; that's why I got a lot of stuff here with me.

Hajime: Oh, that's indeed a lot. Let's see… Cheese, ketchup… There's also salami and basil… Are you planning to make pizza?

Rinne: Spot on ♪ Niki's pizza's always bangin', y'know? I end up eating too much if I don't watch it.

Hajime: Fufu, that's wonderful! Are you celebrating something today?

Rinne: Celebrating? No, not really…

Hajime: Huh? Is it okay to eat pizza on a normal day?

Back in my home, I was taught that pizza is a treat that you only eat on special occasions.

Rinne: Oh, is it now?

My bad, my bad. You're right, Hajime-kun. Of course, today is a special day~

And it's somethin' so important that we can't ever, ever forget about! None other than President Pizza's birthday!

Hajime: President Pizza's birthday?! I never knew about the existence of someone that great!

Rinne: You don't know him, Hajime-kun?! Man, that's really, really bad.

Hajime: W-What's wrong with it…?

Rinne: When it's President Pizza's birthday, everyone's gotta feast on some pizza.

If you only knew about it today, then I guess Hajime-kun never got to eat anything these past years, huh…

If that's the case, then it ain't good if you don't eat all those years' lost servings of pizza…

Hajime: All those years' lost servings of pizza… Are you saying that I should eat 17 years' worth of them?!

Rinne: Ah, then what I have here won't be enough. I gotta get back and grab some more ingredients, huh…

Hajime: I can't possibly eat that much!

Can't you do something to help me?! If I eat that much pizza, I'll end up hating it!

Rinne: Pfft… Ha…

Kyahahaha! Your reaction's takin' me out, Hajime-kun!

Hajime: This isn't a laughing matter! Uuu~ what am I supposed to do now?

Rinne: Don't ya worry your pretty li'l head. I was just messin' with you. That's a lie.

Hajime: A lie..? From which point was it a lie?

Rinne: Everything startin' from President Pizza's birthday.

Hajime: So, uhm… I don't have to stuff myself full of pizza until my stomach explodes?

Rinne: Yup. President Pizza doesn't exist.

Hajime: T-Thank god…

Rinne: I didn't expect you'd just take all of that without even questioning me.

You gotta put it in your head to suspect people a little more from now on, 'kay? Shino "Majime"-kun~ ♪ [1]

Hajime: Geez, you're so mean to deceive me like that, Amagi-senpai! You really scared me back there!

Rinne: Come on, sorry for bein' like that~

Oh, got it. As an apology for messin' with ya, lemme treat you to some pizza.

Hajime: …Are you sure you're not lying this time?

Rinne: Kyahahaha! Talk about a fast learner! Ya immediately got on your toes and suspected me! You take things so seriously. You really are Majime-kun, huh?

Hajime: M-My name is "Hajime"!

Rinne: Yessir~ Come on, let's bounce back home and have a feast! ♪

And while we're at it, let's use those grass you picked and make some wild grass pizza!

Hajime: W-Wah, please don't just drag me around, Amagi-senpai!

-----------

Translation: Sophie

Proofreading: Ara

NOTES:

[1] “Majime” / まじめ = lit. means as a person who’s earnestly sincere and honest, and therefore takes things seriously at its face value. It’s a syllable off Hajime’s name, which makes it funnier given how Rinne has a penchant for giving silly nicknames to people he encounters.

Also can I just point out how Hiiro, who’s actually Hajime’s classmate and therefore theoretically closer to him, calls him “Shino-kun” (last name) while Rinne calls him “Hajime-kun” (first name) right off the bat. I just think his shamelessness is hilarious LOL

[vertigoartgore]

Dave Johnson : "Blah,biddy,blah,blah,blah. What's there to say ? I did design the new Punisher logo. Pretty happy with it. The cover itself is OK. Not my favorite by any means. But then they can't be all my favorites."

Dave Johnson : "Tried to get that quiet mean vibe. The 'he's so bad, he doesn't need a million guns to kill you' look. And yes, after doing it I realized the Venture Bros. skull thing going on. Wasn't my intent. But what are you gonna do? It was bound to happen.

100% real paint on rough watercolor paper."

Dave Johnson : "Half traditional/ half photoshop."

Dave Johnson : "This one feels a bit like Steranko. I guess I could have sealed the deal by adding a swirling , hypno graphic to one of the backgrounds to really drive it home, but that really wasn't what I set out to do. I'm really enjoying the fact that since I re-designed the logo, I can now use it in the overall design as opposed to letting it just sit there on top of the page getting in my way like most comic cover trade dress. Too bad I still have to deal with the horrible scourge called the UPC box. I mean, seriously !?! Does it have to be so freaking BIG ! Not at all. But nobody wants to rock the boat in the name of beauty."

Dave Johnson : "Red, red, red. Why do I love that color so much? It dominates my work like skulls dominate Mignola's work. My chair is red, I got 2 cars that are red. Devilpig is red. My homemade Samurai armor is red. 

Oh well, why fight it. We all like what we like. It's just that simple.

Damn Equis !

*note* X-Ray is a photo that was manipulated to show all the broken bones. Except the pinky. Because Punisher can kill you with just his pinky. He's just that bad ass."

Dave Johnson : "Ahhhh, Bullseye. You really know your way to my heart."

Dave Johnson : "What a crazy cover. To me, it just screams "insane" ! Maybe I was inspired by a certain DA member that entered into my life recently. Even though I did it before he started sending me death threats (haha) I guess I had an episode of fore sight."

Dave Johnson : "Even though I haven't posted the cover to no.7 yet (because I still need to finish it) I'm posting this. It's a 5 issue story arc involving the character Bullseye. So, I'm trying to do 2 things.

To have every cover involve a bullseye graphic element (so far, so good)

To do all the covers using a blue color palette to reference the original costume of Bullseye (even though the character in this story never dons the outfit)

Also, I realize this cover is kind of a book end cover to an earlier Punisher cover. This one… [link]

But hey, it just worked out that way. If I'd have know that Bullseye was coming up in my future I might have not done the earlier cover. But that said, I wasn't about to NOT do this cover because of that. It fits to well with the story.

But maybe I'm thinking about it too much because the reality is, that it's a stupid comic book cover and the world will go on as is, no matter what I do, haha."

Dave Johnson : "I really had a good time on this one. Bullseye looks like he's really lost it and has become obsessed with getting into Punisher's head.

I gotta say, in some ways this cover assignment has been more fun than 100 Bullets covers. And that's saying a lot. Plus, about a week ago, I was talking to Tim Bradstreet. He said that if I ever needed a fill-in he'd be happy to do so. I told him 'he's have to pry it from my cold, dead hands'. Hahaha."

Dave Johnson : "Ahhh, the Bullseye motif is in effect for one more cover. Actually, I have one more to do with this story line. The writer (Jason Aaron) said that Frank wears a gas mask in this issue. Which is crazy timing because I had started to write back and forth with this guy :icondarkasylumxxx: about a trade. Art for a gas mask. He had asked if I could use his gas mask design on a cover, and I told him that kind of stuff was in the writers hands not mine.

Crazy how the universe works like that."

Dave Johnson : "Hot of the presses. The last cover for the "Bullseye" story line. The bullseye motif was fun to play with. And I can't wait to see what comes next for ol' Punisher. I'm willing to money on the fact that whatever happens, it'll be mondo violent."

Dave Johnson : "Man, this cover fought me all night. I started around 11pm with a basic idea of Punisher holding prison bars so tight that blood was coming outta his hands. But the execution eluded me until 4:30am. The angle I liked, but how to make it say 'Punisher' ? Then the idea of the key brought it all home. Finished it up by 6am and off to Marvel on the East coast just in time for them to get it when they open up the doors. Yeah me!

I think this is my favorite Punisher cover so far. Not sure what you'll think, but I'm sure you're tell me, haha.

Going to go to bed now. I feel like a vampire.

Update Got this response from :iconprimeless: "I'm nobody, so I guess my words will mean nothing to you. Also, my art won't ever be as good as yours. I love this cover as I'm fan of your work, but I continue thinking that your work for 100 bullets is the best you ever did.

The reason is that i find that the Key is saying that "Punisher got somebody into jail" not that "punisher is in the jail".

Sorry. My english is not very nice."

And here's my response: "The cover is not meant to be taken as a literal statement. It's main purpose is to tell you 1. It's a Punisher book 2. It takes place in prison. Obviously, the key isn't a real key. It's a story telling device. Whether or not you personally see it "Punisher got somebody into jail" or "punisher is in the jail". Without the key, it's just a guy holding onto prison bars. With it, it's a guy who, may or may not be Punisher. The goal is to make you pick up the book and find out."

Posting this because I thought it would clarify any future questions. Thanks"

Dave Johnson : "It's a simple cover with a simple idea. Punisher is prison, prisoners not happy about it. Rinse, repeat. Call me in the morning."

Dave Johnson : "You know what sucks ? The way I work. I agonize for 2 weeks to come up with a cover design that I don't hate, and then it only takes me 1 day to do it from start to finish. Imagine if that were the other way around? I'd probably be over rendering and adding so much detail it would make your eyes bleed. But instead I wait until one day before the deadline to force me into doing something. 

Bah! I guess it is what it is. 

This one was hard because I've already done a Punisher cover dealing with Frank's origin story. Seen here [link]"

Dave Johnson : "Mmmmm, Electra vs. Punisher. Sure, why not."

Dave Johnson : "This cover kind of turned out to be a little partridge family bus art style or if you please the art that inspired that art style on the bus [link]

Well, it's not my best cover, but it's not my worst. I really dig how Punisher's face turned out though. But maybe you hate it.

Discuss."

Dave Johnson : "Punisher cover time. Mostly photoshop if you're wondering. No real paint was harmed in the making of this cover."

Dave Johnson : "Another Punny cover. Enjoy.

*note* if you notice, no blood on Frank in the photo. It's the little things."

Dave Johnson : "Sadness."

Dave Johnson's cover run (+ commentaries for nearly each of them) on Aaron/Dillon's Punisher Max Vol.1 #1-22 (2009-2012). Source

[eliotlime]

End of October Update

There's got to be a less clunky way for me to title these things but maybe I'll figure it out after a few posts.

Anyway at the top of the order I want to say that uh... the Abacelsus zine is not happening by halloween unforch.. I just started school part-time and it being part-time is still kicking my ass! So tentative release date will be on 11th November unless something else happens....

On the plus side I'm done with the cover so all that's left is the back page and cramming all 24 pages full of drawings 👍

-> As I've said at the end of my previous post I want to make more blog style posts so here's me trying to do that, more under the cut

🔐Abacelsus Zine

I'm still deciding on whether i want to print it A5 or B5 but I'm leaning towards A5, though for the digital release it doesn't really matter lol

As mentioned, I'm done with the main cover so I just need to fill this entire thing with stuff, I said 24 pages but really the total page count is 30. I'm just not counting the cover and the blurb stuff.

I'm half taking a break with this at the risk of burning myself out and half paralysed with starting it. Plus I've kind of been more into Axl & I-no hilariously but I'll always love A.B.A. I think the lack of any real info really lends her well to interpretation which is always fun.

I've never really been one to engage in fandom so I'm probably going to be doing my own thing. That being said if anyone has any suggestions feel free to drop them in my strawpage or ask box :)

🥤 Strawpage & General Socials

The bugs make my pages so decorative, I gotta draw more bugstyle guys.

Speaking of strawpage, I made one of those! It was really fun, I have a short OC info tab with descriptions of some of my main guys. I'd love for you to check it out.

This kind of acts as my ask box for twitter since there's not one there and apparently it's basically my main social media site these days so I'm just mirroring my experience here over there too.

Hilarious timing considering that it's basically collapsing on itself once again, I'll probably still be on that damn site until it implodes but I also have a Bluesky account for those that care about it.

The sky follower bridge extension is really useful for bulk following people from twitter to bsky

I'd love to post there more but there's not a queue function and that's very important to me as someone who is not American and lazy to remember optimal timings.

Did you see? I also have a new pinned for this blog! Wanted to make a new one for a while now, always thought the old one was so freaking long. All the old info is still on my about and faq page though I don't know who actually looks at those.. a relic from years past..

☹ School

Sigh, like I mentioned earlier I'm doing school again! At my big age, but I'm having fun so far! It's part-time but it's still kicking my fucking ass! It's the main reason why I'm a little disoriented this month honestly.

Do you like it? I spent an entire Sunday making my class miro board look niceys and then proceeded to get nauseous from cybersickness afterwards LOL

I'm doing a UI/UX course and I have to say the funnest part about it is making personas, it's like making OCs. Don't particularly like writing though.. but also that's a lie considering the numerous amount of paragraphs in this blog post alone haha

🎁 Merch

I've also gotten confirmation that I'll be boothing again next year in Febuary! So I gotta start locking into making more stickers and general merch. I say this a lot but I do need to look into opening an online store because I just have tonnes of stickers and stuff lying around waiting till the next time I do a convention which is kind of a shame.

Oh, but I will say that if you are from Singapore and would like anything from my previous convention catalogue feel free to shoot me a DM on instagram and I can mail it to you locally, shipping's $2 SGD.

➰Closing Thoughts

All in all, been kind of busy this month with school and various loose threads from September but overall I think I'm doing better! I've also been cooking lately and truthfully that's my biggest achievement this month haha, been also getting really into canned fish. Yummy!

Oh and a last thing is that I've been itching to animate again so I'll end this post with a WIP of a gif I did last night/morning. I almost always never finish my animations but here's hoping this one actually makes it to the colouring stage haha

No prizes to anyone who can guess who these two because of course.

Thank you for reading! I know I can't expect everything to be done in a single month but I just wish I could do everything without getting tired or cybersick! If you'd like to support me, here's my ko-fi page and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.

If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: eliotlime@gmail.com

XOXO, Stay weird!

-Eliot :)

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Deuce Spade - Platinum Jacket Voice Lines

When Summoned: I spent all night studying up al all the art, as any honor student would do.

Summon Line: I'm here to check out some art at a museum, I guess. I don't know if I'll really understand what's "good" art, but... I'll do my best as a supporter of the museum.

Groooovy!!: You gotta have good manners, yeah. It'd be totally lame to get scolded by some flowers.

Home: A 100th anniversary celebration... They're so tenacious!

Home Idle 1: I saw Ace really focused on a painting of some Card Soldiers. Yeah, I'd agree it's a pretty cool bit of art... Kinda frustrating that we have the same taste in something, though.

Home Idle 2: That story about how the Thorn Fairy was completely surrounded by soldiers but stood her ground anyway is real awesome. There's no way I'd forget a tale as cool as that.

Home Idle 3: Can't say I really get art, but that painting of the Queen of Hearts and her Card Soldiers was pretty neat. Like... I felt it in my soul.

Home Idle - Login: If any of the exhibits catch your eye, let me know. I made sure to study a lot about these paintings, so I can definitely explain stuff about them! ...Probably.

Home Idle - Groovy: It sucks to admit it, but Sebek really knows his stuff... I gotta make sure I study even harder so he doesn't look down on me!

Home Tap 1: I thought maybe once I got better at painting the roses, my art grades would get better too... But that totally didn't happen.

Home Tap 2: Don'tcha think this Queen of Hearts button is too cool? I got it in one draw from the "Great Seven" prize raffle at the shop.

Home Tap 3: You thought I did a good job explaining the paintings? Oh, great. Though, all I did was do exactly as Viper-senpai taught me, so...

Home Tap 4: Me 'n Epel really got fired up talking about the Lord of the Underworld's chariot. I like it when I get to chat with people who like the same things I do.

Home Tap 5: You think I look like a model student in this outfit? RIGHT!? I TOTALLY THINK SO TOO!! ...Ah, oops. Shouting like that would ruin that vibe, huh.

Home Tap - Groovy: I wonder what kinda stuff they'd have at the exhibit-themed café they got here. You interested too? Oh then, let's go check it out together!

Duo: [DEUCE]: You better be ready to go, Sebek! [SEBEK]: Humph, I don't need you telling me twice, Deuce!

Birthday Login Message: [Yuu], thanks! I knew you'd come celebrate my birthday without a doubt. What do I want as a gift? Hmm, let me think... Oh, I want one of those bib clips for runners. That way, when I clip it to my uniform during a track meet, it might give me a boost, as if I'm running with my best bud!

Requested by @farfalla049.